The Future is Now!

This is a call to all of the time travellers, roof dwellers, anarchists, squatter pirates, basement divers and wizards. To the conquistadors of bread, the crusty cyborgs, the shrimp eaters, crab lovers and digital addicts. The doom scrollers, shit posters, the long haired lazy youth, shoplifters and submarine vandals.

We, the wingless rats, the doves of yesterday and the addicts of tomorrow have finally found a new hope. Our motto has always been that although we know we have already lost, we don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to deeply provoke the foundations of this society one last time, but times have changed.

When Klaas Kraak travelled to 2023 to warn those from times past of floods to come, he didn’t expect the divine doves to already be this grey and old. In their conquest of bread, they were failing. Already, a new generation of rats was swarming to replace their winged predecessors. But these rats were aimless, harmless creatures, not realising that the wings they so longed for were not just lost to be found. They were stolen from them.

Klaas had become hopeless for the people of 2023 were the last generation able to prevent the darkest timeline of today. And so he sought the advice of the ancient pigeons.

The pigeons cooed hope into the hopeless ears of Klaas for they told him that, while the subversive magic of Amsterdam lies dormant, the spirit of Mokum still lives amongst its people. All they had to do is cure themselves from their digital opiate addictions. Through their square eyes, the world cannot be seen as it is. They scroll and scroll until their thumbs go sore and then some more. Complete cynical pacifity is the result, forgetting the beautifully feathered wings they once had.

But addictions can be cured. Take flight! The old pigeons fought their own war against their nicotinism. Surely our fight is possible to be victorious too. After all, digital opiates are way more harmful than those wretched cigarettes. For while smoking may kill you in the future, a life spent scrolling is no life at all.

Klaas sought to make the new generation of old, the wingless rats, aware of their addictions and aware of their ability to soar amongst the clouds.

Together, they soon set out to build the ark that, as of today, floats on Spui lake. Of course, Klaas made sure not to repeat the mistake of our timeline where the oh so crucial pigeon couple got devoured by the two orange lions and the giant yellow clam from the neighbouring room. A crucial mistake since the pigeon’s extinction meant there was nothing to signal the end of the flood, dooming the people of today. Hopefully, this time the pigeons will stand the test of time and we’ll soon spread our wings and fly to a brighter future.

Provoke, provoke, provoke! It’s a hi ha happening! To channel the subversive magic of the Spirit Mokum, provoke the little cogs in the ticking time bomb that this society is and rid ourselves of the addictions of tomorrow, a smoking ritual is performed every first Thursday of the month at 22:00 on Spui. Join us there in our collective search for our wings lost. “Pas op Provoos, wij verliezen een wereld!”